We live in a world that sells through sex and then shames us for it. Women are taught at a young age not to be sexual, and men are taught that women don’t want sex as bad as they do. We are taught that if a man wants to have sex, he needs to work for it, fight for it, or even kill for it. Women are taught not to be sexual, but at the same time, we place absurd standards on ourselves about how sexy they need to look
This is what Sex Shame does to people! We need sex like we need food, water or sleep. It’s in our DNA to ensure reproduction! What will our world look like when everyone is comfortable with their sexuality? What will our world look like when everyone has confidence in the way they look, the words they speak and the beliefs they stand for?
The Neuroscience of the Orgasm
FMRI scans of a woman’s brain in orgasm show that over 80 areas of her brain light up (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/237976.php), and PET scans show that key areas shut down. What this shows us is that orgasm is the most profound state of natural trance available without the use of drugs or plant medicine. The state of orgasm is an extremely powerful creative force and it’s the highest vibration that we can reach. Humans can manifest through the vibration of orgasm, and for a woman, clearing everything in the way of a full orgasm also clears anything in the way of a woman stepping fully into her true self, and rising to live her purpose.
Orgasm is 90% in the head, and with all the misinformation society teaches us that leaves us anxious in the bedroom, it’s easy to see why there are so many women who are not easily and regularly having satisfying orgasms. The majority of the work that needs to be done to allow a woman to release this way is creating a safe container where she can let go enough to be able to trust you and trust herself to allow her orgasm to come with ease. The female brain during orgasm completely shuts down areas that deal with self-reflection, fear and anxiety, and anything else that isn’t complete ecstasy. The human brain obsesses about what we think of ourselves, what other people think about us, and what we have to do later in the day. Judgment and vigilance centers of the brain keep us alert for survival. These centers need to be relaxed in order for her to orgasm and be 100% focused on her pleasure. When these centers are shut down, it’s like hacking a computer program, and reality as we know it can be completely re-wired and re-invented.
Re-wiring the brain
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), they have something called an Anchor, which simply put, is a unique stimulus that creates a physiological response. Everyone has had the experience of being out in public and smelling the same cologne or perfume an old lover used to wear. It brings you right back into the feeling state of being with them. Whether they were a good experience or a bad one, you’re right there all over again.
Our society anchors sex to guilt and shame and this can cause a person to completely disassociate from their body. This is doubly the case when there has been sexual abuse in a person’s childhood. Now, physical touch that should feel loving and stimulating and recharging, can make an adult want to check out, shut down or run away. You can see how this would be detrimental in our interpersonal relationships! So, how do we let people in on an entirely new level? We need to collapse those anchors.
In NLP, they collapse the negative anchor by bringing up the negative emotion or feeling and then collapsing it with a positive emotion or feeling. Orgasm can also be used to collapse all the negative anchors (guilt, shame, resentment, rage, apathy etc).
How to set the intention for sexual healing:
Intention is crucial for the entirety of a sexual healing experience. During the state of Gspot orgasm, the receiver will act as a super-charged antenna to download information and broadcast her desires to the universe. If you’re the receiver, write down what you want out of life. The next step is your life purpose. Write down what’s keeping you from having this – the story, beliefs, and actual physical actions that are not being taken or ones that shouldn’t be taken. Then, write down affirmations that you would need to believe on a deep unconscious body level of being that would shift Everything. There is often a fear present that is causing people to take actions that aren’t useful instead of taking actions that are.
The most powerful affirmations that people need to embody across the board are – I love myself, I am powerful, I trust myself, I forgive myself, my soul mate is here now – state each affirmation as if it had already happened. “I am” statements, or other identity level statements, are the most powerful statements you can make. Speak to your inner child. She is your manifestor.
Avoid deserving statements such as “I am enough,” and “I deserve to be loved,” because although the brain wants to go there, it places your deservingness on a scale, and this scale is created by ego. We want to get off the scale of ego. When you question whether you deserve something, a part of you still doubts you even if you think “yes.” When your identity is no longer on that scale of deserving, you just are.
Beginning the process and creating the container of love:
In order to reach orgasm, a woman needs to be in the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and relaxation) rather than the sympathetic system (fight or flight) which creates stress and releases a chemical called Cortisol. A deep tissue massage can cause the body to snap into the sympathetic nervous system, so instead, a gentle stroke, a relaxing massage, and candle light are all helpful to get her to relax.
Spiritual and Manifestation Benefits of Sexual Healing
If a woman has been looking for her man, the universe can’t give it to her because whenever you want to find something, it’s only because you don’t have it. In other words, when you desire something in the future, you don’t have it in the NOW. The NOW is the only place we can truly manifest from. When a woman uses this practice, she can recalibrate her vibrational compass, and often she brings him in instantly. If she already has the love of her life, she goes deeper. If she is manifesting abundance, it happens just like that. The giver and receiver create a morphogenic field, acting as antennas, to help her manifest love and abundance. Her field before was “I can’t find my man and I don’t know where my man is and I want him to be here now” and we create “This perfect divine pure love is here right now” and she leaves with an entirely different feeling. We anchor body sensation to love and to her man and she magnetizes love externally because she has found it internally.
The population must clear the negative connotations and judgments that have colored their sexual experience for hundreds or thousands of years. We must make peace with sex in order to integrate the frequencies within our identity. Things have been manipulated and given a boundary of limitation so that the truth of sexuality has been kept from you. You have been told that you can procreate with it and have orgasms, but you have not been told that you can open frequencies with it. Sexual healing is re-emerging as a way to dance with the divine and it ushers much-needed hope for the collective healing of our planet.
About the Authors
Ben and Jen Rode are the Twin Flame couple who co-founded Explosive Sexual Healing. Ben has been studying sexuality and relationships for 13 years. He is a certified Sexological Bodyworker, Sex Educator, Hypnotherapist, and NLP practitioner. Jen is a certified Reiki Master, Angel Card Reader, and Clairvoyant Channel. Having experienced sexual abuse as a child, her mission is to help the world release sexual shame & trauma, and to harmonize the divine feminine and masculine energies. Ben and Jen live at their retreat center in Rancho Santa Fe, California with their daughter, where they take sessions, hold workshops, lead retreats and transform the planet’s sexuality.
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